I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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