Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
