If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
