I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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