I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
