I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
