I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i was born a porn star she said
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
