She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Couch. On fire.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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