...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
