If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
