i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
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