Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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