just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
