Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize