I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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