I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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