just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Randomize
