How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
