i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
