i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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