Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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