make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
