remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Randomize
