Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
