she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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