We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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