OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
