I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
