you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
