White coat. Heels.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Randomize
