I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize