She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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