My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Randomize
