he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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