who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
