girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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