I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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