I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
