Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
