I just made out with a guy for $7.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Barsexuality is the new black.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
