covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
