8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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