I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
