He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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