So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
