My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize