Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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