i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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