So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
