Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
This house was built for laser tag.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
