On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
