do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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