Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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