if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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