Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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