remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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