you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
