i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
