So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
