she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
