is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
